What everybody says...

Live life without regret. I've heard that so often, it makes me dizzy. Society seems bent on proclaiming that we shouldn't regret past decisions, because we are the way we are. "Accept yourself," the world proclaims, "live your life for yourself."

At first glance, these statements appear true and helpful. After all, shouldn't I be able to accept myself, of all people? It's my life, shouldn't I live it for me? And a regret-free life sounds wonderful. But, I think these statements are a little more poisonous than can be seen on the surface.

Live life without regret. Regret is defined as "to be very sorry for". Regret is most often felt for mistakes, or actions that prove harmful. Sorrow is a natural by-product of a mistake, and we all make mistakes. Denying this regret means denying any mistake, which cheapens the learning experience. I believe the key is to live life without allowing regret to rule you. The important thing about making mistakes is to learn from them, and move on. But don't ever deny that they happened.

Accept yourself. It's been said that "in order to love, you must first learn to love yourself", which is probably true. But there is a great deal of difference between love and acceptance. I can love a person convicted of murder, but that does not mean that I accept his actions or his person. The same is true in reverse; one can fully accept somebody, but not truly love them. If there is anything about my character that is flawed, my first instinct should be to improve upon it, not to cover it up by "accepting" it. Arguments such as "I was made this way" or "it's just who I am" hold absolutely no water, because truly, we become what we do. If I focus on doing selfish things, I become selfish. If I focus on making selfless choices, I become a selfless person. The structure of human personality is so layered and complex, and it is constantly changing. Everyday, we change a little bit, whether we or others notice it. And in these changes, we become what we want to be. I guess what I'm saying is; accept where you are at right now, but don't settle for that in the future. Expect to become more than you currently are.

Finally, live life for yourself. What made me think of this was a bumper sticker I saw today that held a quote by Albert Einstein. He said, "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." That statement is true. Albeit there are things that one must do for oneself, such as a job, food, shelter, clothing, etc. But living life for yourself? What a selfish, lonely concept. I think that the teachings of the Savior are best at illuminating this topic. In the 16th chapter of Matthew's testimony, the Savior teaches that "whosoever will save his (or her) life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his (or her) life for my sake shall find it." Note that "lose" or "save" does not necessarily mean death or life. One that loses their life by giving it to God will find that they have become much more than they were before. Their life (or worth) becomes easier to find because there's so much more of them! They live their lives for others' sakes, and especially for the Savior's sake, and they become more worthwhile.

Just some thoughts that I had. I know my voice is small, but I figured the best I can do is make my beliefs known.